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> alcohol stories, in which I am not drunk, but whatever
 Posted: Dec 26 2016, 02:47 AM
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This post is for the purpose of not filling up the shoutbox with my rambling.

Suffice it to say, most of my life I have spent being underage, and public school filled me with horror stories about how alcohol is bad for you and you shouldn't drink the stuff, because it causes brain and liver damage. Also of course it alters your brains' perception and makes you do stupid things - which is not something I'm cool with. Then they basically told me that consuming alcohol in public, particularly in certain risky environments (and where is NOT a risky environment where mind-altering drugs are served?) was a quick route to rape.

With that said, I have to admit that reasoning is probably at least slightly overblown; if you invite me over to your house party and you have the stuff I'm not going to be "that is the worst thing ever" and unleash my terrible rage of doom (reserved for abusers and liars and manipulators After all, I drink my Sprite and eat my pizza too, and public school told me that those things are bad for you (along with other things like hamburgers, hot dogs, donuts, cupcakes, and so on). To each their own drug of choice; mine just happens to be sugar water and lame music. Lucky me.

With that being said...


Sometime after I left university, my great-uncle and my group of second cousins (quite a large family) invited my immediate family over for dinner. This is usually the most boring affair on earth where the adults talk about things like company management (bad), engineering challenges (interesting), talking about the "kids" behind their back even through I'm sitting RIGHT THERE AT THE TABLE AND HAVE ACTUAL EARS (rage of doom: incoming, the night's cooking (always excellent), and occasionally the next AMAZING OUTDOOR ADVENTURE (not really going to happen, but nice try, Dad).

As you might have guessed, these are all my dad's favorite conversation topics. I occasionally might have snuck in a feature when I was a novelist back in the day, since that drew attention, but since that has fallen by the wayside...well, yeah.

Anyway, so at this dinner was served, to some of my second cousins and great-uncle, a bottle of red wine. My parents declined (my dad has another horror story of a grandfather that drank himself to death, thus fears of alcoholism running in the family), and me and my brother were underage, and said as much. Of course, the aforementioned horror story didn't seem to affect anyone else, despite the fact that they all had the same grandfather too, as all of them drank a certain amount of the stuff.

And I'll admit...I watched to see if anything actually changed. I'm horrible. My great-uncle didn't talk and looked mildly happier, through he was never a great conversationalist to begin with and he's always pretty easygoing anyway. I didn't notice too much out of place with any of the others until after dinner. We had moved out into the living room, and one of my second cousins' wives was sitting on the couch. Her husband was standing right next to her...

...and he tousled his wife's hair, right in front of me.

And she just sat there and just took it. Even smiled.

No. Uncomfortable alarms went off immediately. I doubted it showed much, but inside I was thinking, no.

First, the lady in question was normally quite a self-assertive lady and would never have normally tolerated that. She would have slapped him or rebuked him for that. He was treating her like a little girl. Disgusting. And while the gentleman in question was friendly and affectionate, he was not the type to do something like that in public in front of everyone. Normally, that is.

Frankly, if someone did that to me I would feel like punching them in the face. It's not just for disrespect reasons; I hate people touching my hair. But if alcohol could reduce me to a person who would like that sort of thing, even for a second...

I still haven't tasted a single drop. Mostly because I feel like I need my full brain at all times, but still.


The second one's more fun. My family (including me) lived in the town where I attended university ten years before I actually went there to attend university. This led to some cool stuff occurring, one of which was a very long bike ride. The reason being was that the university was in a different part of town then where my family lived ten years ago. So I decided to bike ride across town to where my family used to live.

This quest actually resulted in failure, due to the town in question being huge. I got close enough to see the mall we visited and get a nostalgia attack. It was a lot of fun though anyway. On the way back, I decided to visit an Olive Garden, because pasta is a good idea after a long day on the pedals.

And the waiter walked up to my table: "Would you like to try today's wine sampler?"

I was 19 at the time, and people still think I'm 16 and still in high school. I didn't make the "most likely to be carded until 40" list when I graduated high school, but I should have.

In addition to that, I was carrying my backpack and bike helmet, and while drunk bike riding may not be as illegal as drunk driving, it's probably just as unsafe. In the waiter's defense he might have been tired after a long shift, but still. Bloody Jiminy Hendrix, sometimes you need to break the sales script.

Me: "No! I'm underage!"

The waiter hurried away to put away the wine bottle and change the subject fast. In theory I could have had him hauled off to jail, but I decided to spare the poor guy. He probably just made a mistake, and no harm no foul. Despite this epic faux pas, I managed to order pasta and get home safely.


Anyway, my storytelling style isn't as amusing as Takal nor as drastic as Xinlo, but hopefully it serves. Reactions are welcome.
 Posted: Dec 27 2016, 04:26 PM
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Snake Champion!

Trust me, you're missing literally nothing (IMO). It's legal in our state for your parents to give you alchohol if your ... 13 ? It's my parents idea that 'better to see what it's like now and know your attitude towards it than be unprepared when the matter is brought up'

Anyhow, my dad drinks a little wine now and then (socially, and not to drunkenness, of course), and I've had a taste or two of wine, and I'm never drinking that crap under my own volition. It tastes like fermented sweat socks.

And, my older brother was thoroughly turned off the time he had to (for medicinal purposes) drink a small glass of 90 proof.

That said, I agree with the 'drug of choice' idea. Music and writing for me, LOL.

QUOTE (Takal @ 12-8/16, 3:58 P.M.)
That's the thing about opinions, Onua.  Everyone else keeps having stupid ones.

QUOTE (Onua)
Excuse me while I vomit in a bucket.

QUOTE (Takal @ 12-13/16)
[X]enophobia's not just a hobby, it's a way of life.
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